MONDAY CHUCKLE

Q. Why did the blonde sell her car?

A. To get money for gas.

CLICK ON LINK FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY CALENDAR -- PRETTY INTERESTING

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH

 

OPTICAL ILLUSIONS

This one is amazing so please read all the way through.
ALZHEIMER'S' EYE TEST Count every "F "in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...(SEE BELOW)










HOW MANY ? WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke. READ IT AGAIN ! Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind is further down. The brain cannot process "OF". Incredible or what? Go back and look again!! Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare. Send this to your friends. It will drive them crazy.! And keep them occupied For several minutes..!

More Brain Stuff . . . From Cambridge University. O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

ME AND YOU

 

TEACH'S REFLECTION IS LEARN

 

DO YOU SEE GOOD OR EVIL

GOOD IS IN BLACK EVIL IS IN WHITE 

READ ALOUD THE TEXT IN THE TRIANGE BELOW

MORE THAN LIKELY YOU SAW A BIRD IN THE BUSH -- look again 'the' is repeated twice 

COMPLIMENTS OF ZANNE

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney
were flying on Air Force One.
George looked at Laura, chuckled & said, "You know, I couldthrow a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 billsout of the window and make ten people very happy."Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 billsout of the window and make a hundred people very happy."Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to hisco-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of themout of the window and make
56 million people very happy.

MONDAY MORNING FUNNIES

 

INTERESTING STORY WHETHER IT IS TRUE OR NOT

I hope this is true.

ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS. BUT JUST BEFORE HE REENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY." MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGH IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT. HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS. OVER THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY... STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED. ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION TO ARMSTRONG. THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED.
MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD ANSWER THE QUESTION. IN 1938 WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WEST TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH HIS FRIEND WHEN THEY HIT A BALL IN THE NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THE BEDROOM WINDOWS. HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY. AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY. "SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"

WORDS OF WISDOM -GEORGE CARLIN

GEORGE CARLIN (His wife recently died...)
Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - gross and mouthy comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent . . . and so very appropriate. A wonderful Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little , watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses , but broken homes.These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer,to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete . . . Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. If you don't send this to at least 8 people . . . . Who cares? George Carlin

CHICAGO STYLE

Subject: Chicago style
Let's Do This
Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence; one from Chicago, another from Dallas, and the third from Fort Lauderdale. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Fort Lauderdale contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then gets out his calculator, punches in some numbers and says, "Well, I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for material, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
The Dallas contractor steps up, takes some measurements, does some figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure"?
"Easy," the Chicagoan explains. "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me, and we hire the guy from Dallas."

THE WIZARD OF STRANGE

We're Off to See the Wizard!
Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado and off they whirled to the land of OZ.They finally made it to the Emerald City and went to find the Great Wizard.

What brings the 4 of you before the great Wizard of Oz?

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly and said:I've come for some courage. No Problem!" said the Wizard. "Who's next?

Richard Nixon stepped forward,Well, I think I need a heart.
Done!" says the Wizard.

"Who comes next before the Great and Powerful Oz?
Up stepped Dubya and said, I've been told that I need a brain. No problem!" said the Wizard."Consider it done.

Then there is a great silence in the hall.Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around,But he doesn't say a word.Irritated, the Wizard finally asks,
Well, what do you want?

IS DOROTHY HERE?