ELECTION DAY HUMOUR
A U.S. senator is hit by a truck and killed. His soul arrived in heaven.
"Welcome," says St. Peter. "We seldom see politicians here. So you get to decide whether you will spend eternity in heaven or in hell."
"Really?" says the senator, excitedly. "Great! I want to be in heaven."
"Not so fast." says St. Peter. "We want you to make an informed choice. First you have to spend a day in hell, and then a day in heaven."
St. Peter escorts the senator to an elevator. Down, down, down he goes to hell. The doors open in the middle of a lush green golf course. All his departed friends rush over and greet him happily. They play golf and then dine on lobster and champagne. They have such a good time that soon it's time to go.
Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven," he says. The senator joins a group of happy souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. Soon the 24 hours have gone by.
"You've spent a day in hell and another in heaven," says St. Peter. "Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects a moment. "Heaven has been delightful . . . " he says, "but I think I would be better off in hell." St. Peter escorts him to the elevator. Down, down, down he goes. The elevator doors open in the middle of a sulfurous moonscape covered with smoking garbage. All his departed friends, dressed in rags, pick up flaming trash and put it in burlap sacks as more rubbish pelts them from above. The devil comes over and clamps a chummy, red hot arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "The other day I was here and there was a golf course and we ate lobster and drank champagne and had a great time. Now, well, just look at this!"
The devil smiles. "The other day we were campaigning," he says.
"Today you voted."
"Welcome," says St. Peter. "We seldom see politicians here. So you get to decide whether you will spend eternity in heaven or in hell."
"Really?" says the senator, excitedly. "Great! I want to be in heaven."
"Not so fast." says St. Peter. "We want you to make an informed choice. First you have to spend a day in hell, and then a day in heaven."
St. Peter escorts the senator to an elevator. Down, down, down he goes to hell. The doors open in the middle of a lush green golf course. All his departed friends rush over and greet him happily. They play golf and then dine on lobster and champagne. They have such a good time that soon it's time to go.
Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven," he says. The senator joins a group of happy souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. Soon the 24 hours have gone by.
"You've spent a day in hell and another in heaven," says St. Peter. "Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects a moment. "Heaven has been delightful . . . " he says, "but I think I would be better off in hell." St. Peter escorts him to the elevator. Down, down, down he goes. The elevator doors open in the middle of a sulfurous moonscape covered with smoking garbage. All his departed friends, dressed in rags, pick up flaming trash and put it in burlap sacks as more rubbish pelts them from above. The devil comes over and clamps a chummy, red hot arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "The other day I was here and there was a golf course and we ate lobster and drank champagne and had a great time. Now, well, just look at this!"
The devil smiles. "The other day we were campaigning," he says.
"Today you voted."
posted by the concerned citizen at 4:25 AM
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